What To Do When Life Just Doesn't Look Like You Planned
College was never in the plan for me. I have never been the person to have posters of prestigious universities on my wall or dreams of going to an Ivy League. I could never picture myself at college. It just wasn’t in my mind that I would go. Senior year of high school came around and suddenly I found myself stuck with the decision of where I wanted to go. I figured I wanted the security blanket that came with having a degree and didn’t want to regret not doing “the whole college thing.” So I picked a university close to home and signed up for classes. To make a long and boring story short, I was miserable. It wasn’t my place, or my people, or my environment. It was not where I was meant to be or where I was supposed to grow.
COVID came quick and before I knew it I was back at home for the next 17 months and found myself in a “mid-life” crisis questioning what I was doing with my life. Everything became hard and time consuming. I remember sitting in my sister’s room one night, working on homework. After hours of staring at my screen I finally looked up to realize that I was missing the sunset. Months before I had the habit of taking my dog on a walk during sunset, yet here I was. I let the negative parts of life consume me to the point where I began to miss the happy little things of life. From that moment on I knew something needed to change. I knew that North Carolina was not where I was meant to be or where I would be happiest.
The conclusion I came to was that college wasn’t for me and dropping out was my only option. I could buy a bus, convert it and travel the world, and then maybe I’d be happy. While traveling does make me immensely happy, a small part of me wanted to stay in school. I didn’t want those two years to amount to nothing but staying was not an option. A friend put the thought in my head to transfer, “Before you do anything, just look into other schools.” To please her I did, I think my gut trusted it. A few searches later I found Eckerd College, an unconventional, shoes optional, school on the gulf coast of Florida.
With a leap of faith and the hopes that this time around things would work out better, I toured, applied and got in. After a three day trip down south from North Carolina, I moved in on Friday. And I won’t be the first to say that this school is unreal. Most of the students are vegan/vegetarian, skateboards and bikes are transportation, classes are held outside, dogs are welcome, there is a literal beach on campus and we have the best sunsets in the entire state of Florida hands down. It’s a place where hard conversations are welcomed and (almost) all opinions are excepted. Where yoga classes are held on the beach and swimming in the ocean before class is not only possible, but now one of my favorite things to do.
I think Jack Johnson said it best: I want to be where the talk of the town is about last night when the sun went down. I’m pretty sure I found that place. As I write this, it’s midnight and I’m laying in bed absolutely exhausted from the day but inspired. I’ve just had a movie night with a girl I met yesterday. Earlier we spent hours in the clear blue ocean floating amongst the waves and talking while watching the sky turn shades of pink and purple through holes in storm clouds. These people, I’ve only met yesterday, but it already feels like I’ve been here for weeks. Maybe it’s supposed to feel natural, the place where your soul is meant to be?
Take this life lesson from me — when life doesn’t look like you planed it, shake it off. It happens. But if you’re not happy, change something. Something can always be changed. Find what makes you soul soar, and trust it. Go with your gut and your heart. It always knows where to go. At least that’s what I’m doing, and so far it’s turning out pretty well.
